Why do we want what we want? What do we seek in others, and in ourselves? What is it about some men that makes them an object of our deepest desires, while others hardly spike our interest? How far are some of us willing to go in pursuit of such men...and how far will we go to re-make or maintain our own selves at various points of our lives, to become or remain that which others might seek?

Do we ask too much of others, and of ourselves, as we chase our specific ideal of perfection? How much does that concept of perfection vary, from individual to individual? Does the exterior package outweigh that which may lie behind the face and body? Does the "person inside" matter more to us? And how much do our external and internal selves influence and reflect upon each other?

Those are just some of the areas I've been looking into as I researched gay men's attitudes and opinions for this book, "Chasing Adonis: Gay Men & the Pursuit of Perfection." Over the last year and a half more than 200 people took the survey I had posted on this site; along the way while the website was patiently gathering all that information for me, I interviewed scores more men in person, people I knew from the Internet or ran into in bars, on the beach, at work, at the gym or in the grocery store, pretty much anyone who crossed my path in my various travels who seemed like he might have a story to tell.  Many other men came to me on their own, having heard of the project through mutual contacts. It's the sum total of those hundreds of stories that form the overwhelming bulk of the book...I also want to thank the more than 1000 people who took the poll here on this site, as well as via e-mail.

"Chasing Adonis" is now available for purchase, and why not check out my previous works? "Sissyphobia: Gay Men & Effeminate Behavior" and "Reeling in the Years: Gay Men's Perspectives on Age & Ageism" are available right now at a bookstore near you, or by going to http://www.timbergling.com.

Thanks for stopping by!

Tim Bergling