Why do we want what we want? What do we seek in others, and in ourselves?
What is it about some men that makes them an object of our deepest
desires, while others hardly spike our interest? How far are some of us
willing to go in pursuit of such men...and how far will we go to re-make
or maintain our own selves at various points of our lives, to become or
remain that which others might seek?
Do we ask too much of others, and of ourselves, as we chase our specific
ideal of perfection? How much does that concept of perfection vary, from
individual to individual? Does the exterior package outweigh that which
may lie behind the face and body? Does the "person inside"
matter more to us? And how much do our external and internal selves
influence and reflect upon each other?
Those are just some of the areas I've been looking into as I researched
gay men's attitudes and opinions for this book, "Chasing Adonis: Gay Men &
the Pursuit of Perfection." Over the last year and a half more than 200
people took the survey I had posted on this site; along the way while the
website was patiently gathering all that information for me, I interviewed
scores more men in person, people I knew from the Internet or ran into in
bars, on the beach, at work, at the gym or in the grocery store, pretty
much anyone who crossed my path in my various travels who seemed like he
might have a story to tell. Many other men came to me on their own,
having heard of the project through mutual contacts. It's the sum total of
those hundreds of stories that form the overwhelming bulk of the book...I
also want to thank the more than 1000 people who took the poll here on
this site, as well as via e-mail.
"Chasing Adonis" is now available for purchase, and why not check
out my previous works?
"Sissyphobia: Gay Men & Effeminate Behavior" and
the Years: Gay Men's Perspectives on Age & Ageism" are available right
now at a bookstore near you, or by going to
Thanks for stopping by!