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Excerpts From Chapter One: “No Fems Need Apply”
“To be
homosexual is to like the ideal of sex. Homosexual men love
very masculine men, and I am not a masculine person.”
Jaye
Davidson, Actor
It is a sparkling
springtime afternoon in the heart of Gaytown, USA, that tony
little section of your city where--by some marvelous and
terribly convenient confluence of geography, affluence,
urbanity, or simple safety--gay men come out to play, to see
and be seen. It’s a special, all-too-brief season, a time of
year when winter’s chill is not yet a distant memory and warm
sunshine feels like a novelty, something to be savored before
summer wears out its welcome.
Strolling into the park that serves as an ad hoc gathering
place on days such as this, you spy men of all shapes, sizes
and ages “out” and about, the more confident among them
doffing their shirts to show off all those hard months working
out since last summer; now it’s time to soak up those first
good rays from above, UV index be damned.
That’s when you spot him. He’s a tall, well-muscled Adonis
posed up on the lip of a marble fountain, wearing shorts,
sunglasses, and not much else. You can’t really believe your
eyes; he looks for all the world like one of those young men
you find only in the pages of an underwear catalog, or sitting
high up on a billboard above Times Square. They don’t really
make guys like this in the real world, do they? But here he
is, in the flesh. And what flesh it is...
You circle over so as not to appear too anxious, all the while
giving your best introductory phrases a mental once-over.
Beautiful day, isn’t it? Or maybe: Wow, have you been working
out a long time? I’d love to have a body like that.
Well...you’ll surely think of something.
Soon you’re within striking range and gathering up your
courage, and just when you’re this close to pouncing, his
friends appear, Starbucks frappucinos in hand. And that’s when
your intended suddenly jumps up and fairly screams with
delight. You stop in your tracks and stand there off to the
side, unnoticed, taking in the scene. The lean body is still
there, in fact he looks even better now that he’s standing
fully upright and you see the shadows cast by ample pecs and
tight abs that don’t suggest a six-pack as much as the whole
freakin’ case. There’s even the flash of a gorgeous smile, and
a glimpse of bright, wide-set eyes behind those Ray Bans...but
now you’re seeing other things, like the fluid, theatrical
motions of his hands as he talks, the toss of his head that
can only be described as girlish. And the voice. It calls to
mind that old expression: He opened his mouth, and a string of
pearls hit the floor.
You are somewhat dumbstruck by the transformation, wondering
just how it is your Rhett Butler became Scarlett O’Hara in the
space of a second. And you are also struck by the fact that
your mental woody has pretty much gone with the wind. Make no
mistake, your boy is still a vision, but that’s all he is now.
Lovely scenery, like the green trees and the bright white
fountain shimmering in the sun on a Saturday afternoon.
Is that an unrealistic scenario? Not really, judging from the
conversations I’ve had with scores of gay men for the better
part of the last several years. When presented with the
tableau above the majority of those I’ve talked with say
they’d probably take a pass, rather than make a pass. “I’d
like to think I’m a little better than that, but if I’m going
to be honest I’d probably walk away and keep looking,” admits
one young man, who tells me he had in fact experienced a
similar scene in an Atlanta nightclub not two days prior to
our conversation. “I just like masculine guys, and guys like
the one you describe totally turn me off.”
“I know it sounds shallow,” says another, who describes
himself as a little “queeny” sometimes, usually when he’s out
with friends in West Hollywood. “And I know it sounds bad,
especially coming from me. But I like my men to be more
masculine than that. I simply refuse to date anyone more glam
than I am.”
If you’re nodding your head at this admittedly frivolous, yet
undeniably commonplace illustration of the phenomenon I’ve
dubbed “sissyphobia” you’re not alone. Conversely, if you find
yourself shaking your head in disgust at the sheer
narrow-mindedness of someone who would dismiss you simply
because of the way you speak or move, you are not alone
either. We are talking about a peculiar rift that runs through
the gay male community, a divide between men who might be
deemed “straight acting,” and men whose style and mannerisms
run more toward what we could term the Quentin Crisp School of
Homosexuality. While the two tribes are not exactly ready to
go to war, it would be wrong to assume there’s anything
approaching more than an uneasy peace in the valley.
Now certainly in my interviews I have run across those who
maintain neutrality; they don’t seem to notice or care much
how stiff the wrists around them are. I’ve also encountered a
handful of guys who tell me they find effeminate-behaving men
comforting to be around. “Effeminate guys can be quiet,
nurturing, often kind and rarely mean,” says Russ, a 36-year
old marketing executive in Manassas, Virginia. “They can be
shy, very polite and easy going. What’s so bad about that?”
Others tell me they find the prospect of a fem guy rather
exciting. One older gentleman suggested in place of this
project I should instead write a book with the Oprah-esque
title Sissyphilia: Fem Boys and the Butch Men Who Love Them.
Still others are intrigued by the opportunity an effeminate
man might seem to present. “I’m from a very small town,” says
John, a 20-year old student in western Maryland. “There are,
like, no gay people around here. If I see somebody I’m pretty
sure is gay from the way he acts...well, I figure, finally!
Someone to hang out with.”
But those examples are by far the exceptions. The loudest
voices I hear come mainly from inside two opposing camps, the
first comprised of gay men, some of them quite closeted, who
identify themselves as “straight acting” or “straight
looking.” The second includes gay men long out of hiding--if
ever they hid at all--who not only wonder what the fuss is all
about, they fiercely resent the implication that anyone might
tell them the “proper” way to behave. Skirmishes between the
two groups flare up all the time, and not just in pick-up bars
or parks, though that’s a common enough battleground. This
conflict reflects and parallels the on-going strife within
society as a whole, daily dramas that play out in homes, high
school halls, college dorms, the workplace, on the Internet,
even military barracks...any place where men find themselves
criticized, even brutalized, by those who don’t consider them
“manly” enough. It takes place wherever some gay man finds
himself turned off, intimidated, or embarrassed by the
sometimes merely effeminate, sometimes loud and flamboyant,
behavior of another.
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